“When is it appropriate to have children?” Or “How can I have children and a good job while trying to maintain a good balance between the two?” These are just a couple of the questions we, as a society, and as women find ourselves asking everyday. The decision to bear children is even harder to consider after basing it on the facts: Research tells us the best time to bear children is between the ages of 27 and 34 1. Coincidentally, the physical peak for athletes is between 25 and 35 years of age 2. And for women like Taj McWilliams-Franklin, now 39, and the oldest woman in the W.N.B.A, she is no stranger to these questions. Past her prime and having had 3 kids, McWilliams-Franklin’s struggle began at the age of 17, before her basketball career blossomed and before she really understood the troubles that lie ahead. The constant pressures from having a professional career and the pressure to provide for a family, are not things normally associated with women, however, recently women, like McWilliams-Franklin, have changed that, and are breaking the mold—blending a family and a job in one life.
“Committed to Family, Dedicated to Basketball”, a New York Times article written by Karen Course in April, 2010, speaks of the truths facing women in professional sports, trying to balance between a career and a family. Throughout McWilliam-Franklin’s life, she never put herself before her family. After she had her first child at 17, she continued towards her dreams and strove to excel in her sport. This is a fairly different story compared to most professional women. These days when women want to bear children, they make considerable sacrifices to their lives—a major one being leaving her job. McWilliams Franklin certainly made sacrifices, like bringing her child to college classes and practice with her, but one sacrifice she did not make was leaving her job. Unlike most families these days, Taj and her husband have broken the mold with parenting their children. When Taj is away on trips, Reggie is the primary caregiver in her absence. And according to Susan Newman, a social psychologist, this plan is applauded. And I agree. I find it extremely refreshing to see a woman providing for her family.
However Crouse addresses that, “As more mothers take jobs that require travel, the question that has hounded McWilliams-Franklin throughout her career is haunting others: Can you be there for your children when you are always on the run?” The answer to this question, I believe, is yes. Any mother can be there for her children despite having traveling duties and a job. Nonetheless, not being able to be there for your child at all times, is something all women struggle with, including mothers who don’t give up their jobs---McWilliams-Franklin has had to deal with this throughout her 17 year esteemed career and it breaks her heart. She claims, “It’s a catch 22. Women love their careers and they love their families. Sad as it is, you have to give up something of one or the other in order to be good at one.” This sense of obligation to give up something is a feeling a lot of women have. For most women though, the “giving up something of one” is more often than not, her job. And if they don’t give up their jobs, what would people think? That they care more about their job than their family? This is the double bind women have been facing for decades—the pressures that society put on women and how they have to choose one or the other: a job or a family.
In terms of building a family, Ann Crittenden sheds light on the obstacles professional women face in The Mommy Tax. She speaks of the potential economic losses women face when they leave their job in order to be the primary caregiver for their child. Crittenden begins the chapter on a surprisingly shocking note, and leaves the reader quite intrigued. She claims “One could even say that motherhood is now the single greatest obstacle left in the path to economic equality for women”(Crittenden, 87). I had to read this line a few times to really understand it. But I completely agree with it (now having read the chapter and learning about it in class). What sets men apart from women in the professional setting is the ultimate decision that a woman feels compelled to make. And the chapter explores how much money that would have and could have been earned by women who leave their jobs to become mothers, also known as the Mommy Tax. This is something that McWilliams-Franklin never had the misfortune of encountering. Being the primary moneymaker of the family is something she enjoys being… “I’m genuinely happy to be able to take care of my family in this economy” is what she told Crouse when asked on the subject.
It’s a tough responsibility being the primary caregiver of a family, all the while maintaining an exhausting career. What Taj and other women do have in common however, is their extreme need for help. Even if you do leave your job, having children is a tough responsibility and is hard on a workingwoman’s life. “A support network is essential. Unlike L.P.G.A, which offers free on-site childcare at its domestic events, the W.N.B.A has no such perk.” Now that McWilliams-Franklin is out of college, and without a daycare system like women’s professional golf, her and her husband have devised a good plan that has been working for them for a while.
What I believe mothers to all have in common is they have had to struggle through adversity. This is not something that’s necessarily fair and doesn’t always end up the way they want. But what is it that women want? A job or a family? A job and a family? Sometimes there’s the case where a woman will work for a specific amount of time, and when she’s ready, she’ll quit and have a family, or take a leave of absence. Some women don’t want to ever have to make that choice. Either way, the outcomes are difficult to handle and is just one of the many difficult times of our lives. There are people who don’t think women can do it… McWilliams-Franklin’s coaches for example. They’ve told her again and again, “Don’t have this baby, It’ll mess up your career”. Where does the line get drawn when having a child “messes” up a career? When a woman gets benched for half a season after coming back from a pregnancy? Or is a career “messed up” when a female employee has to take a few vacation days out to stay home and be with her sick child?
McWilliams is a prime example of what the ideal worker is not. According to Crittenden, this worker is “unencumbered, that is, free of all ties other than to his job” (Crittenden, 92). To me, finding a worker like this is very difficult to come by. One could question whether or not a lot of people are free of all ties outside their job. That rules out having a relationship, having a family, even having a pet! In her 17-year esteemed professional career, full of encumbrance, McWilliams-Franklin has certainly triumphed motherhood over matter. We are always told at a young age that our children look up to their parents and see how they live their lives and hopefully, strive to be like them in some way when they are older and take on a career. However, motherhood is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and even if money isn’t being made off of it, it is still a career and it is still something to be admired for. The lasting words of the article really resonated with me… “As your child gets older, you are role-modeling your passion for what you do, you are role-modeling that a career doesn’t mean you’re always behind a desk, you’re role modeling an independent life.” Taj McWilliams-Franklin is a passionate woman. She loves basketball and she loves her family and she has dedicated her life to both.
Works Cited
1. "Aging and Athletic Performance - Training, Exercise, Strength, Muscle - World of Sports Science." Internet FAQ Archives - Online Education - Faqs.org. Web. 04 Nov. 2010.
2. "Best Age for Motherhood | Health - Geniusbeauty.com: Magazine for Beautiful Women." Beauty, Weight Loss Tips, Hair Loss, Makeup, Fashion, Fitness, Diet, Sex, Health and More - Geniusbeauty.com. Web. 04 Nov. 2010.
3. Crittenden, Ann. "The Mommy Tax." Introduction. The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued. New York: Metropolitan, 2001. 86-102. Print.
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